Saturday, April 14, 2012

What to do. . . What to do

 So it has been a long time since I have posted.   My life gets busy and unfortunately this is one of the things that I want to do but just can't fit in very well.

Lately I have been thinking about my priorities in life.  What I want to make time for and what I need to let go.  I keep dwelling on what things are important to me.  There are so many things in life that I want to do.  I know I can't do everything and I don't really want to.  I just feel pulled in so many directions right now and don't want to just give a little bit to everything and do nothing well.  I have work life, church life, family life and friendships to balance.

For quite awhile I feel as though I am not really doing any of them well.  Where ever I am I want to give 100%.  When I can't do that, it makes me feel like I am floundering.  I am trying to back up and reevaluate my life through God's eyes.  His are the only ones that matter.  I don't want to get to the end of my life and have Him say, "You tried really hard to do a lot of things, but none of it matters.  You didn't serve me."  I want to serve Him here and now.  If I don't make time to do that, if I don't prioritize my time to do what honors Him, I won't ever accomplish what God wants me to do.

So, what are my priorities in life?  What things do I really want to do?  I want to try to find the things that I need to cut back on, things that aren't that important in the long run.  These things weigh me down.  Then I need to decide what is really important and make it the main focus of my life.

I am a child of God.  He has saved me and rescued me from a life of meaninglessness.  I know that I am placed here to serve Him, to praise and worship Him, and to share His love with others.  I want to make an impact for Christ here and now.
I want to:
*Make time every day to be in the Word of God
*Spend time teaching my girls the truths of God and reading the Bible to them
*Collect cereal boxes for those in Haiti
*Supporting missions and missionaries
*Praying for those in need
*Building relationships with those around me
*Manna house: Do more photo shoots, pamper parties, raise money to provide things that will bless these dear ladies.

I am a wife and a mommy.  My inmost circle is my husband and my two daughters.  God has given them to me and I absolutely love them.  I need to make sure that I am building relationships with them and growing closer each day to them.
I want to:
*Go on date nights with my sweet husband
*Read to my children every day
*Take time to play with my kids-go to the park, the library and on walks with them
*Make delicious and healthy food for them
*Keep a clean and organized home where they can feel safe and welcome
*Go camping
*Tell them every day how much I love them and show them in little ways all throughout the day

I want to build my relationships with my friends and family.  I feel that this area suffers the most.  Life gets too busy and all of a sudden I realize that I haven't really spent time with the people that are the closest to me.  I don't want to be too busy to fellowship with those I love.
I want to:
*Have a game night once a month with my side of the family and one with Chris' side of the family.
*Plan fun outings where a bunch of our friends can get together and do life.
    - Bubble party at the park: Bring picnic lunches and all our bubble stuff and just have fun
    - Go to the beach with friends or family.
    -Build picnic tables with any that want to.
    - Have more bonfires in our backyard.  Hang out and roast smore's.
    -Have more BBQ's with friends.

I am also a nurse.  I am currently a Staff Nurse III.  This brings more responsibility and more of a time commitment to my job.   I have an extra meeting once a month to attend and I can rarely do anything extra that they ask.  I just don't have time to do it.  I am supposed to be heading up a mock code team.  This has fallen apart simply because I don't have the time to commit to it.  Plus meeting are always on a day that I am sleeping because I have worked the night before.  I am on our partnership council.  I love it, but meeting are on days where I work.  I get less sleep and it is conflicting with Chris' radio station.  I have to ask someone to babysit or take my children to the meeting.  I love my work and totally enjoy it. I don't love feeling that I want or should be doing more and just don't have the time to do it.  I am seriously considering stepping down from being a Staff Nurse III.  I will still work extremely hard to excell as a nurse whether it is taking care of my dear little treasures or being charge nurse and running to deliveries.  I will still be a transport nurse and learn how to take care of babies that need body cooling to save their precious brains.  I am just really considering not taking so much time out of my life to focus on extra things at work.  No decisions have been made, but I am praying about what I need to do.

I love figuring out stuff as I am writing.  Journaling always does that.  Now, on to focus on all that is truely important and let go of all the other stuff.

1 comment:

Jen Bauer said...

I hear ya! Balancing everything is so hard. I struggle with the same thing. I will pray for you that God helps you find balance and do the things that are most important. We can't do everything. I think praying for focus and wisdom is where to start. I will be praying for you!