Saturday, October 08, 2011

Happy Birthday Hannah!!

Dear Hannah,
Oh my sweet lovable, cuddly little girl. I am so, so glad that you came into our hearts and our home. I was so thrilled when I found out your little life had been placed within me. It was an Easter morning. Bekah, your big sister was 1 1/2 years old. We had just gotten back from church and all our family was here. I took the pregnancy test and immediately told your daddy that you were coming. He was speachless for a minute and then was so happy. When everyone was gathered in our living room I picked up Bekah and told her she was going to be a big sister. Little by little all around the room our family realized that mommy was pregnant. It was a fun day, filled with such joy because of you.

You grew in mommy's tummy and I loved every minute of it. Ok, I didn't love the morning sickness. I did love feeling you kick and flip inside of me. Around 22 weeks, I was working in the NICU at night time and I started having 8-9 contractions an hour. It stopped when I rested and so I thought nothing more of it. Right after that our family went to Colorado to visit Taeya, Aunt Megan and Uncle Phil. You got to go white water rafting with mommy and enjoy doing lots of fun things. Aunt Megan and Taeya came here to visit after we visited them. We went to the beach and got to go camping. All was well until my first night back to work. Mommy started having a bunch of contractions. I was taking care of a very sick baby and couldn't leave him. I really thought all was fine even though a contraction came every time I moved. After sleeping, I was still having contractions. Daddy took me to the hospital to make sure you were ok and were not coming early. I was 26 weeks pregnant with you.

That night you tried very hard to come. I lay in bed feeling the contractions tighten my abdomen. I prayed and prayed that God would keep you safe inside until you were much bigger. I was scared. Scared that you would come and need a lot of help to stay alive. That night and every night after I gave you to God. I told Him that I really wanted to have you safe in my arms and have you healthy. I know that you are and always have been completely in His hands. I surrendered your life to Him. If He wanted me to take you home and raise you to honor Him, then He would spare your life. If He wanted you to be in heaven with Him, then He could take you and I wouldn't fight. God gave me such peace after I gave you to Him 100%. I still prayed every day, every hour, sometimes every minute, that you would be ok. But I knew that I didn't have to worry. We had so many people in the church praying for your little life. Your tiny body was covered in prayer for many, many weeks. What a blessing.

Mommy spent the next 10 weeks in the hospital or at home on bed rest. That was hard for mommy to sit still. I never have liked to be still. God allowed me the patience to rest my body so that you could grow and get stronger. He worked in my heart as well and showed me so many blessings that He was giving me. Everyone from the church was wonderful. Since I wasn't allowed to get off the couch, I couldn't take care of Bekah or the house. One to two people came every single day to take care of us. God blessed me with their love and their encouragement. I was given so many blessings. I would never have chosen to go through what I did, but God showed me that He had a purpose and was working in my heart to make me what He wanted me to be.

Then you decided it was time to be born. You were a little early at 35 weeks, but much better than 26 weeks. After 20 hours of labor, you were born. Since you were little they took you to the warmer to check you out. My heart was so overflowing with joy when you started crying. The sound of your sweet, little cry was music to my ears. I was able to hold you for a minute before you went to the NICU to get a bit of help. That was one of the best moments of my life. You were born and were so darling.

You had to spend 12 days in the NICU as your lungs healed and you got stronger. I loved every minute that I spent with you. Hannah darling, you loved being held and cuddled. Then we finally got to bring you home. What a great day that was. You fit into our family like you had always been there. I don't know how we made it until you in our lives. You bring us such joy.

I have loved every moment that you have been in my life. I love the way you love to snuggle and cuddle. You are never as happy as when you are able to sit in our laps. It doesn't matter what we do with you, you just like being with us. We read to you, tell you stories, sing to you and tickle you. You love it and so do we.

It has been a fun three years seeing you grow into a beautiful, sweet little girl. You learned to talk quite early and you keep us laughing with all the things you say. I love seeing how you see the world. Hannah, you love talking and singing (quite off key) but we love it. You can't say your s's very well. I love it when you sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. You sing sweetly, "Twinkle, twinkle, little Tar. . . Like a diamond in the Ky." Daddy and I just sit and giggle while we listen.

You just started Cubbies and you love getting to memorize and say your verses. The first time you were going to say your verse to your teacher, you were just a little shy. She could see that you knew it but just did not want to say it. Papa Karl came into the room. You ran right over to him and said all your verses perfectly. That made me laugh. The next week, you were braver and said them right away.

One of the things you say that I love is, "If I don't want to eat my food, then I don't have to. If I want to I can. But if I don't want to then I won't". You often say, "If I am disobedient, you still love me." Oh how true that it, sweet one.

You have such a compassionate heart for the things of God. The other day we were talking about a lady that lives in Africa and takes care of a lot of orphans and people that need God's love. I showed you the picture of the lady surrounded by some of the kids that she took care of. One of the little boys didn't have a shirt and you asked why. I explained that many of those kids only have one set of clothes. Maybe the little boy didn't even have a shirt. Hannah, you looked at me with such serious eyes and said, "Mommy, we need to pray right now that God would give that boy clothes. He needs to have clothes." So you did. I love seeing how you are so touched by the needs of others, even as a two year old. Every day, you pray when we eat. You always say, "Dear Jesus, Mommy-I don't know the words. What do I say? (then you pray for our missionaries) Bless this food to our bodies. Amen!!" You care about those we pray for and ask about them often.

Sweet little one, I Iove you so much. My favorite time of the day is your bedtime. Every evening I put you to bed. You get your jammies on and ask to be rocked. I love how you snuggle with me. I always ask you what was the best part of your day. Things you have said: "I didn't go anywhere today." "Going to the Park." "Cubbies!" "Giving you hugs and kisses when you got home in the morning was the best part of my day." Sometimes you sing to me. Then you climb into your bed-all by yourself. I cover your up with at least three blankies, then put your music and crickets on. You have to give me a hug and a kiss or you won't go to sleep. Often, you tell me that I can wipe off the just the slobbery parts. After you give me a kiss, you blow on it three times so that I can't actually wipe of the real kiss. I love it when you do that.

You are such a sweet girl and I love you so much. I absolutely love it when I come home from work and you are at the window jumping up and down screaming my name. I walk in the door and you run over to me and jump into my arms and cover me with kisses. That is the best part of my day. I love you and am so glad that I get to watch you grow up into the amazing girl that God is making you into.

Your Mommy

1 comment:

Jen Bauer said...

I love this Sarah! So sweet! And Hannah will love reading it when she gets older. I'll have to do this for Henry when he turns 1.