Little Girls - Funny Stories

Last night I was putting Hannah to bed. She started asking questions about where the sun went when she went to bed. I said that it was on the other side of the world, where Romel (our compassion child from the Philippines) and where India is. We pray all the time that the people of India would learn about God and love Him. She piped up, "Is the sun learning to love God?" Precious.

The other day I asked Bekah if she wanted presents or money for her birthday (she is really into buying things all by herself at the store). She said clearly and loudly, "I want presents AND money!!!!" What a smart girl.

Conversation with Hannah before bed tonight: " When it is dark, Auntie Shonna Kuhner can't leave her house." Me-why not? "She has to say inside but she can leave if she wants to." Me-Ok. "She can't be by herself. She has to have somebody with her." Me-Well, Bodie is with her. Do cats count? "No, Bodie isn't Hannah or Bekah" Me-Hannah, you are so silly. "I'm not silly, I'm goofy. I already told you that."

Bekah just told me there was a dead swap under the chair. Actually, it was just a wasp, with a slightly different name.

During our Bible time this morning we were talking about Abraham's servant choosing a wife for Isaac. I asked the girls how the servant knew who was the right girl to choose for Isaac. Hannah said,"He said to the girl, "I'm going to choose you girl!" " Not quite, but close.

Hannah told me today, "When I was your age I used to work all the time." Oh really, and what life was that in.

I love how Hannah always protects me. She is constantly asking if the food I am eating gluten free. Is it safe or will it make you sick, mamma? Last night she was eating a brownie and asked if it was poison or ok. LOVE my girl!!!

Lemon Chicken

I love this chicken recipe. It is great when you make it and for leftovers. The chicken is so tender and juicy and just falls off the bone.


Lemon Chicken

Ingredients:
2 tbsp. lemon zest
1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 cloves garlic, crushed
2 tsp. fresh thyme leaves
1 tsp. fresh rosemary leaves, finely minced
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
2-4 lbs. of bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs or drumsticks
2-3 tbsp. melted butter
Thinly sliced lemons, for garnished

Directions:
Combine the lemon zest, lemon juice, garlic, thyme, rosemary, salt and pepper in a large zipper-lock plastic bag. Seal the bag and shake well to blend. Place the chicken pieces in the bag with the marinade, pressing out excess air and sealing once more. Refrigerate and let marinate for 2 hours.

Preheat the oven to 425˚ F. Remove the chicken pieces from the marinade and transfer to a baking dish, skin-side up, reserving the leftover marinade. Brush the top of each piece of chicken with melted butter.

Bake for 50-55 minutes, until the skins are crispy and well-browned. Halfway through baking, pour the remaining marinade over the chicken pieces in the baking dish. Once fully baked, cover loosely with foil and let rest 10 minutes before serving. Transfer to a serving platter, garnish with lemon slices and serve.

Source: adapted from Simply Recipes

My Gluten Free Journey

I am so thankful to God for letting me be diagnosed with Celiac disease. My diagnosis has changed my life so completely. My body feels so different, so free and so healthy for the first time since I can remember. This has not been an easy journey to say the least. But God has used it to draw me closer to Him. I share my story with you to encourage you to find the right answer when you don't think you have the right diagnosis.

Let me start at the beginning. I have always had digestive issues since I was a little girl. When I was at home eating home made healthy meals, normally I was fine. But ever time I was away from home on a missions trip or vacation I would always get sick. I dealt with constipation, diarrhea, fatigue and I felt aweful. I never knew why, I just dealt with it and moved on with my life. During nursing school I was diagnosed with migraines that got increasingly worse. When working at Children's Hospital in Oakland I would often barely make it home before throwing up and collapsing in bed with a severe migraine and fatigue. I lost so much weight and was down to barely 100 lbs. I had such fatigue all the time along with anemia that the doctors couldn't figure out. I was hospitalized in 2004 for two weeks with horrible stomach pain and non-stop throwing up. Every thing I ate made me sick. Since the doctors couldn't figure out the problem, they told me I was under too much stress and that was the cause of my sickness. Some implied it was all in my head. I went to doctor after doctor for years for my fatigue. I had to nap for 2-4 hours EVERY single day or I couldn't make it through the day. Most days by 10 or 11 am I was so fatigued I could barely feed the kids and make it to nap time. I was so irritable and snapping at them at times. I knew that food could make me feel better or worse, but couldn't figure out what food made me feel horrible. Little did I know that wheat (which is in everything) was making me feel so aweful. Five years ago I started gong to an amazing chiropractor multiple times a month to help control my migraines.

A year ago he kept encouraging me to get tested for a gluten intolerance. He was convinced that something was wrong with my body. My muscles were back to where they should have been-the spasms were gone. However, anything (2 minutes of working out or lifting something) would send my muscles into horrible spasms. They were not healing right. My chiropractor was concerned that I was not absorbing nutrients and so my body could not heal itself.



I didn't want to go on a gluten free diet-especially if I didnt' really need it. I didn't want to have something like that wrong with me. So I continued to eat the food that was poisoning me.

Two months ago I called my GI doctor and set up an appointment. On June 21st I saw him. He thought I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome and gave me some meds to take to feel better. (So many doctors diagnose Irritable Bowel Syndrome when they don't know what it is. Most Celiacs have had this diagnosis before actually being correctly diagnosed) I had to ask him to test me for Celiac disease. He looked very doubtful but finally ordered the blood test. I also discussed starting the gluten free diet. He said that I could try it to see if it helped at all. He had no info on gluten free diets. He told me if I could find a nutritionist, that he would refer me. He said, "I only deal with organs, not nutrition." Wow! I was kind of taken back that the doctor who dealt with the organs that absorb nutrients has no idea how to help support people that need help with nutrition. I was on my own. I am so thankful that there is sooo much information on the internet to support Celiac disease and starting on a gluten free diet.

Two weeks later, I got a call saying,"You have Celiac disease. Call back in a month and let us know if you feel better." That was it. No further testing to make sure it was Celiac (you should have a small intestine biopsy done). No tests run for nutritional deficiencys. So I got on the internet and started doing my research. I am so thankful that there is so much out there to support those with Celiac disease. I have a 5 page typed list of things that have gluten in them that I have to stay away from. I got a list of tests to run (which I had to ask my doctor to do). I have read lots of articles regarding the research out there and peoples testamonies.

It was a scary world to be thrown into at first. It was daunting trying to fix gluten free meals for the family that weren't just the same thing every night. Trying to come up with snacks that I could have on hand while everyone else had cake or cookies was a challenge too. Little by little I am getting an arsenal of my own. I now have a couple of cookbooks that are gluten free. I have emails from friends and family that have had to go on this diet (Thank-you so much Jaymie, Trish and Christine). I have a few lists from grocery stores and restaurants that have things that are safe for me to eat. Life is getting easier and so much better all the time.

It is amazing the change I feel in my body. My head is clear. I don't feel a "foggy brain" any more. I have tons of energy every day. Even going to work is different. I worked a 12 hour shift with a very, very sick baby. At times there was a doctor plus three nurses working on him to save his life. This normally would have given me a horrible migraine and I would have had difficultly making it through the shift. After 10 hours, I felt like I had just arrived and was still refreshed. My stomach pains, nausea, diarrhea, bloating and loud stomach noises are gone. My muscles feel different now. They are relaxed and healing well. The migaines are gone. A rash I had for seven years is gone. My irritability is gone. I feel so peaceful now. My whole body is different!! I am praising God for letting me be diagnosed and for taking me on this journey.

Once in awhile I eat something that is contaminated with gluten. Normally I can't even tell what I ate that was contaminated since all it takes is one crumb, one molecule, to make me sick. Last night I was enjoying a nice evening around the fire with my family. We were making smore's. I made one for each child using regular graham crackers. Then I made one for Chris. He didn't want a smore, just the marshmallow. So I cooked a marshmallow for me, made a smore with the chocolate and graham cracker set out for Chris and started eating it. Whoops! I took two bites before I realized what I had done. I gave the rest of the smore to Bekah (who was thrilled) and made a gluten free one. With in half an hour I had diarrhea, a splitting headache, tummy ache, and fatigue. I was too sick to even check facebook. It takes just about a full 24 hours to feel normal again. I certainly learned my lesson. i can never be too careful.

I really want to encourage you all to get tested if there is anyone in your family that has been diagnosed with Celiac disease. It runs in families and so you have a high chance of having it too. If you have digestive problems that are not clearly diagnosed you should also get tested. The key is that you have to be tested (blood work and biopsy) before you start a gluten free diet. Any test done after you start the diet will be negative since the tests look for damage caused by gluten. You may not have celiac disease, but a gluten intolerance. This is much more common but the blood test for Celiac disease would be negative. They have new tests out there that are way more specific that tests for intolerances. You must be your own advocate. So many doctors will just tell you it is this or that without doing any tests to make sure it is. Get a diagnosis and don't stop until you do. My whole life is changed and I will be living a much healthier life from now on. I praise my Lord and my God for allowing me to feel good and enjoy my time with my family.

I am so thrilled that I feel better and can really enjoy this time with my girls while they are young.

My New Life

Well, a lot has happened in my life over the past month. My chiropractor had been encouraging me to get tested for Celiac disease/gluten intolerance for quite some time. I finally got tested and found out that I do have Celiac Disease. Exactly one month ago I began a gluten free lifestyle.

At first, it was a bit overwhelming. But I am embracing this as a gift from God. I am so thankful that I was diagnosed. I am also extremely grateful that I am feeling so much better. My whole body is responding to not having gluten in my body. The first thing that I noticed was that my fatigue is gone. I have enough energy to make it through the day with out a nap anymore. My stomach doesn't hurt all day long and I just feel soooo much better.

Little by little I am figuring out this whole thing. I started by finding all the things that I could naturally eat that didn't have gluten in them. We ate a lot of chicken, rice, veggies, fruit and tacos for awhile. Then I found some yummy gluten free bread, bagels and flour. After my sweet husband made a delicious roast using ingredients that contained gluten (by accident), I decided that we needed to make a gluten free kitchen.

I spent an entire afternoon reading every ingredient on every product in my kitchen. I found out that the non-stick spray I used on my gluten free cookies had wheat in it. Whoops! I pulled out the soy sauce, bread crumbs, all soups, crackers, pasta, graham cracker crumbs, some spaghetti sauce, some spices, onion soup mix and a bunch more products. I ended up giving almost all of it away.



I had to wipe down everything in the kitchen that had wheat flour on it (ie, the mixer, all the drawers, all cooking utensils). Then I had to go shopping and get my own butter dish (the other one is contaminated with crumbs), cutting boards, squeeze bottle for mayo. I had to get new baking dishes that will bake gluten free food better. Slowly I am getting gluten free ingredients in my kitchen. I never in a million years thought that I would have agave nectar, xanthan gum, tapioca flour, and a bunch of other stuff like that in my kitchen. Here are some pictures of my newly organinzed kitchen.








A couple of my dear friends gave me some gluten free cook books. I have read through two and a half of them and have gotten a bunch of yummy (I hope) recipes. Yesterday I spend the morning reading through recipes and meal planning for the month of August. As well as planning for some delicious desserts. I am enjoying finding great meals that my children and husband love that look and taste great, but are safe for me as well. Here are two dinners that I made that were great and gluten free. I am loving eating healthier and being healthier.

Rotissery chicken, rice and artichoke. Yummo!


These mozzarella sticks and chicken fried steak and gravy are all gluten free. And they taste good too.



Delicious gluten free bread with home made strawberry jam.

My silly little girls

Bekah was telling Hannah all about worms: Worms make racoons, then they become butterflys and have wings. They fly all over the place.

Every time Hannah gives us a kiss she makes us promise not to wipe it off. Then she'll tell us that we can only wipe off the slobbery parts.

A Lesson Learned

God has been teaching me so much in the last few weeks. He has been showing me how important it is to trust fully in Him, to experience joy in each moment that He gives me and to make all the little moments with my family count. It is not always easy to learn these lessons, but knowing that God is right there with me through it all makes it ok.

As most of you know, a few weeks ago I got the call telling me that I was on modified duty until we could figure out a way to protect me from the Neoblue bili lights at work. I didn't know at that point if I would ever be able to work in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit again. That was my home away from home. My friends were there. I loved my job and enjoyed all aspects of what I did. And I was good at it. My heart stopped and I began to grieve. . . the loss of my unit, the loss of my friends and the loss of my place in this world. I now had no safe niche to go to at work and just felt lost and oh, so alone. I cried out to God to show me His will. I knew what I wanted. . . desperately wanted. I wanted to go back to my job and have that security back. I didn't want to go any where else. And I prayed that God would open the door for me to go back to the NICU. But I also knew that God has the power to place me somewhere else. He would do what ever was going to bring Him glory and honor-not just what I selfishly wanted. I wrestled with Him, for days on end. I prayed while driving, while sitting alone at work for hours, while in bed. Every moment of the day turned into a time to seek God and allow Him to work in my heart. And slowly He did. I kept praying that He would help me to find joy while on modified duty-feeling like an outcast. That He would help me find joy if I had to work in another unit. And that He would give me joy in each area of my life whether it was what I wanted or not. Slowly, ever so slowly, God gave me peace that passes understanding and a joy that only comes from Him. I was able to find a real peace knowing that God may be moving me to another place in the hospital and knowing that I may have to work on paperwork for a few months until it all got sorted out. I love having a relationship like that with God. He made me and He loves me. The God of the universe cares about my heart and will do what ever it takes to make me more like Him.

Then God gave me hope that a solution might be available. My optomotrist gave me a pair of glasses to try around the bili lights. Then my Uncle Scott found a brand that said it would block out 99.9% of the light wave that the bili lights put out. After working at Sutter teaching mock code stuff at skills day, I had a day of modified duty. I took the glasses to the unit and worked up there for a couple hours. The neoblue light was there and with the glasses on, I was fine. No headaches at all!!! I was super excited and so thankful that we had found a solution in only a week and a half. The next day I was allowed to go backt to work and ended up picking up a 12 hour shift that night. The following night I picked up another shift. I had a baby on a ventilator that had two neoblue lights on him. Because of where he was we couldn't use the drapes that protect our eyes from some of the light waves. I still didn't get sick. Not even a hint of a headache. God is so good to me.

Today at church I could see so clearly all that God has been teaching me. It felt like God was showing me all those things that I had been learning the past few weeks. Pastor Bauer was talking about how God always has a plan. He is the God of the universe. He created all things and is in control of all things. He doesn't need us giving Him imput or advice. He has a set plan of what He wants to do. When the crowds came to Jesus on the mountain, they had a physical need at the end of the day. All 5,000 men, plus women and children were hungry and needed food. Any town was too far away to go to and they didn't have enough money to buy bread for all to eat. God was testing the disciples to see what they would do. Instead of remembering the many, many miracles God had done in the old testament and all the miracles that Jesus had done and trusting that Jesus could do something great, they gave up on the situation. They didn't fully trust that Jesus had a plan or that He was big enough to do a miracle and provide for the peoples needs. Jesus was testing them and they failed the test. He did provide for them. One child gave Jesus all of his lunch-5 small loaves of bread and 2 small fish. The disciples still didn't think that Jesus could do anything, but He proved them wrong. He turned that little lunch into enough food to feed 20,000 people with 12 baskets left over. He can do so much more than we can imagine. Why don't we trust Him more? Why do we give up when we face something hard and not cry out to God to provide and do something amazing. He cares for me and He has a plan. It probably isn't something that I would have come up with. His plan is most likely bigger and better than I could have ever dreamed. I want to encourage you: Trust Jesus with all your heart. He has a plan for your life. He can see the whole picture and will do what is best-not just what you think is best. All that He does, He does to bring Himself glory. We need to be focuses on Him and not on ourselves. If we spend our day listening to ourselves whine and worry, then we become unhappy and full of pride and selfishness. When we focus on thanking God for all He does and all He has done for us, our focus moves from ourselves to God. We will be filled with peace and joy and our minds will be transformed. I am going to continue to strive to keep my focus on Christ and be filled with thankfulness in the good times and during the trials as well. God is good, all the time!

I thank God for letting the glasses work. I thank Him for protecting me from the migraines at work and allowing others to be protected too. I praise Him for letting me be able to work in the NICU again and for only missing 2 weeks of work there. I thank God for my family. They bring me such joy and blessings. I thank Him for the hard times when I cry out to Him and am drawn closer to Him. I thank Him for working on my heart in so many ways and changing me daily into more of the person that He wants me to be. I thank God for all the little things and am so glad that He cares about the little things that bring us joy. Thank-you God for all you are and all you do. There is no one like you!!

Library Time

The girls love the library. Bekah loves the computers that she is allowed to play with. Hannah loves pulling the books off the shelves and piling them on the table. We go to the library every 2-3 weeks and get 10 to 20 books. We read these books until the girls have just about memorized them. Today we invited Michelle and her little ones to go with us. It was fun spending the after noon with them.


Bekah and Max enjoyed playing games on the computer. We don't ever let her touch our computers so she loves that the library has ones that kids can play on.



Hannah wanted to dress herself today. If you look closely you can see that her jacket is on completely upside down. I just kept looking at the jacket and giggling.






Hannah is too little to play the kids games on the computer. She did want to listen though. Hannah had to put the head phones on her head all by her self. These are some of my favorite pictures.

Fun messy activity

I have a fun book that has a lot of fun ideas for toddlers. One of the ideas was to put shaving cream on a tray and color it with paint or food coloring. We did this with the girls. I found out the hard way that the food coloring I used kind of stained my hands as well as the girls. Nice!

I love it when the girls are sweet to one another.



They were so excited to do something new and fun.

Hannah is my super clean girl. She doesn't like to get her hands dirty, ever. It took some convincing to get her to stick her hands in the shaving cream. After quite some time she really started to have fun.


I think the best thing that we did was practice letters. I would draw a letter with a spatula (had to keep my hands clean so I could take pictures). Bekah really enjoyed getting to make letters.




The girls had a lot of fun playing in the shaving cream.


I put an art shirt on Hannah. I forgot to put one on Bekah. Not a good idea. She got food coloring on her sweater and it won't come out. Whoops! Lesson learned.

Trusting God When I Can't See Around the Corner

I have wanted to be a nurse since I was a child. My sister was in Children's Hospital of Philadelphia when she was a little girl. I loved visiting her there. The children's hospital was amazing. I remember seeing a little girl named Justine who was in the same room as Megan. She was 2 years old and was getting breathing treatments every few hours. One nurse came in to give her a breathing treatment. The little girl was scared and crying. The nurse had no compassion and held her still and made her breathe the medicine while she was screaming and scared. The next nurse that came in to give the breathing treatment was great. She saw that the little girl was scared and so played games and made it a fun thing for her. I loved seeing how a nurses approach made all the difference in the world to a child. That made such an impact on me. I chose at that moment to be a nurse when I grew up. No child should ever have to have a bad nurse and I wanted to be the best nurse I could be so that my patients would have a good experience.

I held onto that dream and made it a reality. Eight years ago in June I became a NICU nurse. Eight years ago I found the best job in the world. I love what I do and I love the people that I work with. Up until now I thought this is what I would be doing until I retired as a gray hair old lady. Up until now. Now I'm not sure whether or not I'll ever be able to work in the NICU again.

Awhile ago my nemesis, the NeoBlue Bili lights, entered our unit. For whatever reason, the lights hate me. And I hate them. Ok, it is mutual. . . We hate each other. Every time I see the lights I get sick with in 2-3 minutes. I get an instant migraine which causes my stomach to hurt, I get dizzy and I get a headache. The last time I worked with a baby under these bili lights I had to go home sick after four hours due to what felt like the worst food poisoning case in the world. The bili lights had caused me to throw up and feel like I was going to pass out. Not cool!! After 3 hours away from the lights I was totally fine.

I talked to my manager and she had me talk to the disability office to figure out what we could do. I filled out the paperwork and gave some ideas of ways to modify my work environment so that I could work in my unit without getting sick. Today I got a call from the disablilty manager. She told me that I was on work modification until we can figure out what can be done so that the demon lights (my words, not hers) would not affect me. Then the real blow. If a solution can not be found, I can never work in the NICU again. I tried to see if we could just forget the whole matter and have me just deal with the severe migraines. That was not going to happen. So now I am on modified duty and I can only go to work and do projects.

This was probably the worst news that I could have heard. I cried and Chris held me and told me that we would get through this. I cried some more and tried imagining my life with out my job as a NICU nurse. It was a pretty hard thing to do. I have been wrestling all day with my fears and trying desperately to give them to God and just fully trust in Him. He gave me my passion and my love for nursing. He gave me my job and the joy that I have in my job. I know that He can take it away just as quick as He gave it to me. I know that He is in full control. He can heal me of this affliction, help me find a way to deal with it or He can redirect my path. I know what I want. What I desperately want. But I also know that He has plans for my life that I can not fathom. There have been so many things in my life that have happened that I thought were horrible things and I wanted them to be different. Looking back, I can see that God orchestrated them in His own way and with His own timing to make me into the person that He wants. I am trying to fully submit to His will. Not with worry and fear and grumbling, but with joy and trust and hope. It is not an easy path to go down when I can't see the end. I'm sure that I will have to give this burden back to God at least a few more times. But one thing I know is this: God is Good. All the time!!


Here are some pictures of my sweet unit and a few of the nurses that I love dearly. This is a place I hold dear to my heart.
My own sweet baby in the NICU.

Daddy and Bekah

Bekah is definitely a daddy's girl. She adores her daddy. And he adores her. Bekah absolutely loves it when daddy takes the time to chase her around the house and tickle her. He wrestles with Bekah and she climbs all over daddy. Every night mommy puts Hannah to bed, but Bekah always wants her daddy to tuck her in. They share a special bond. I love to capture little moments like this between my sweet husband and my first born.






The other day mommy was making dinner while daddy watched the girls in the living room. I called them all to come in for dinner. Bekah told me I had to come see daddy first. This is what I saw! Of course I grabbed my camera and snapped a few pictures.


Bekah tucked daddy in and got him all comfortable.


Daddy was so comfortable that he didn't really want to get up and come to dinner

I love the little teddy bear tucked in daddy's arms.

What precious moments and special pictures. This is the best time of my life right now. I work 3 night shifts a week and Chris works at the radio station 2 times a week. That leaves a whole lot of time for both mommy and daddy to spend time with the girls. It is wonderful having the time to spend with each other and have both of us there to handle the kids and everything else. I love being able to tell Chris that I need a break and let him deal with the girls. God was so wise when he made families with a daddy and a mommy. Anyway, i am cherishing this time with my girls. My life does seem like a circus at times. Some times there are too many things on my plate or we have a bad day, but I just love my family and my life. God has blessed me above and beyond what I could have ever imagined. I am so thankful for my family and for just being able to fully enjoy them.